It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
