Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
