Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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