She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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