I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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