I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
