it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
