I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My life is pants optional.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
