what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
