I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
