I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just had sex on a roof
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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