Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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