how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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