I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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