if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well I just put wine in my tea
don't judge my taste in strippers
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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