allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
