I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think my moral compass just broke
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
