I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
