I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
