Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
