I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
