Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Two words: nipple clamps
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