Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
