You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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