she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
