saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
