i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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