she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My Higher Power is John Stamos
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
