sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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