she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was born a porn star she said
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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