Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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