is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
