but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
