i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
