I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
