sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
