I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
