i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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