If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
