dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
