Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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