I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
