I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
