Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
