O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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