I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
