yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
