Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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