you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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