We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
