Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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