you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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